Chorley gets a crush (6)

Chorley made a lot of new friends the evening he went to the pub to join in with the karaoke. From that evening on, he would regularly jump over the back wall, walk across the bowling green and after announcing his arrival with a loud ‘Harrow’ would settle himself down on his usual stool to join in with the conversation of the day. Some days it would be the football, others it would be the weather, it was always something different.

Harrow - what shall we talk about today?

Chorley felt that life as an almost grown up kitten was pretty good – his bucket was definitely half full and although he still thought about his mother, in the small town ‘up north’ with a lot of roundabouts, he needed her guidance less and less. He had his new grown-ups now who he liked very much, he had wise old Black-Jack with his white whiskers if he needed advice, he had Boris and Alan the fat woodpigeons to hang out with on the roof of the shed with and all his new friends in the pub.

The only thing that was missing from his life was a little bit of love, so one day when the conversation moved in that direction, faster than you could say ’pilchards and prunes’ Chorley jumped in for some advice.

‘Duck pond, bantams, geese, fencing’, said Ernie, the man with the round face who was always carrying eggs. Everyone immediately stopped talking, looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and carried on where they’d left off. Nobody understood what Ernie was on about.

‘Well’, said Disco Dave, ‘If I like a lady, I like to sing her a little song and then treat her to a fish supper at Pany’s chip shop.

‘If I like a lady, I invite like to her to my house, where I make her a nice quiche’ said one of the son’s from the ‘orange family’.

‘You make her a quiche?’ asked Chorley with a chuckle, shaking his ears which made the little bell on his red collar tinkle.

‘I do’, he replied. ‘I use some of Ernie’s eggs and I even make the pastry myself – I roll it out with a thermos flask!’

‘Chorley’, said the other ‘orange’ son. ‘If I like a lady, I take her out for a drive in my fast car, then we I find a nice car park where we can sit and look at the view’.

Chorley was very confused – he didn’t have a car and he couldn’t cook a quiche. What was he to do?

At that point, the ‘orange’ mother piped up. ‘Don’t listen to any of them Chorley, if you like a lady then what you need to do is give her a present, preforably something shiny.’

‘Ah’, thought Chorley, ‘That’s more like it.’

‘Why are you asking anyway? Do you have a lady in mind Chorley?’ asked the ‘orange’ mother.

Chorley did as a matter of fact. He was just a little bit in love with the beautiful lady with the dark hair and nice smile who lived a couple of doors down the road. As the year moved on and the weather got warmer, the beautiful lady would often leave her back door open. Chorley always announced himself with a loud ‘Harrow’ but she didn’t always hear him. Often she would find Chorley fast asleep on her bed – Chorley just wanted to be near her.

The beautiful lady with the dark hair was always very kind to Chorley. He’d spend many hours sitting on her while she tickled him. He needed a way to tell her that he had just a little bit of a crush, so a present was a very good idea.

Chorley spent a long time wondering what he could hunt down to give to the beautiful lady as a present. 

First he thought about finding a pet mouse for her, but they all ran too fast for him. 

The mouse ran too fast for Chorley.

Next he hunted down an escaped meat and potato pie from Panny’s chip shop that had been half eaten and then discarded. But he ate it by mistake before he could get it home.

Finally he remembered what the ‘orange’ woman had said – something shiny. A light bulb came on in his head and with that, Chorley went hunting.

Chorley had never caught one of these before - it was going to be very tricky and he would need to make sure that he wasn’t noticed. 

Once in the pub, Chorley jumped up onto a stool to survey the room. In the corner he could see the members of the bowling club, deep in conversation, discussing tactics for the next match against The Rochdale Rollers. 

Nobody saw a nearly grown up kitten with a red collar and white chin, steal something from the table and make off with it, out of the door and back over the bowling green.

The next morning when the beautiful lady with the dark hair and nice smile opened her back door, she found a lovely, shiny present on her door mat. It was a packet of pork scratchings that he had bravely hunted from the members of the bowling club the night before. 

Although the packet had been full when Chorley took it, he’d managed to eat them all by mistake on the way home, even licking out all the crumbs just to make sure the packet was nice and clean.

The beautiful lady looked around and saw Chorley hiding in the trees.

‘Chorley, is this from you?’ she asked holding up the packet which glittered in the sunshine. Chorley looked at her shyly. ‘It’s lovely, thank you very much’, she laughed.

From that day onwards Chorley always bought the beautiful lady something shiny as a present. Sometimes he would leave it on her doormat, sometimes he would leave it as a special decoration in her flower bed, but he never forgot and the beautiful lady with the dark hair and nice smile loved him all the more for it.

I love you Chorley Bucket.

Chorley gets stuck in! (5)

When Chorley was six months old, Alison and Tristan promised to take him out in their canoe for a trip down the Mersey river, right out to the sea. This was a long and treacherous journey with many hazards. 

‘When you are in the canoe Chorley’ Alison said, you have to sit very still and whatever you do, don’t dig your claws in. The canoe is full of air so if you do it will go ‘POP’!

Chorley knew that only grown up kittens went down the Mersey river in a canoe, so he was very excited. He decided to start practicing sitting very still immediately and set about finding the nearest thing he could to a canoe.

First he found the laundry basket. He jumped in and settled himself down. He shut his eyes and held his breath. ‘One, two, three, four .......’ At that moment, Alison walked past the basket where Chorley was hiding. Although Chorley was nearly grown up, he was still a kitten, and kittens like to play! 

'Harrow'!

‘Harrow’ shouted Chorley as he jumped out of the laundry basket to surprise Alison who jumped a mile. ‘Chorley – don’t do that you naughty kitten’, she said with a start. ‘I thought you were practising sitting still. That’s not a very good start – you’ll need to try harder’. 

‘Hmmmm – I’ll need to try harder’ thought Chorley as he went exploring to try and find somewhere else to practise sitting really still. He knew it was very important to get it right.

‘Ahhh, this looks a bit like a canoe’ thought Chorley as he jumped into the bath tub to practise sitting very still. He shut his eyes and held his breath. ‘One, two, three, four, five .......’ At that moment he heard the fridge door open. ‘Dinner’ thought Chorley as his stomach rumbled and before you could say ‘pilchards and prunes’ he jumped out of the bath and raced down the stairs. 

'Dinner'!

‘Harrow’ he said as he sat looking longingly at his food bowl. Alison laughed at him, ‘That wasn’t very good either, was it Chorley. You really need to concentrate, or we won’t be able to take you out in the canoe’.

Chorley went out through his cat flap into the yard. Tristan was there building a brick BBQ. ‘Harrow’ said Chorley, going over to see if he could help Tristan with his cement. ‘Best keep away Chorley, we don’t want you to get stuck in the cement’ said Tristan with a chuckle.

Tristan mends the wall and builds a BBQ

Pushing the cement into the bricks

‘Hmmmm’ thought Chorley, ‘I’m no use to anybody today’.

Then out of the corner of his eye, Chorley saw a big blue bucket over by the shed. ‘I’ll show them’, he thought. ‘I’ll sit in there really still and prove to everyone that I’m grown up enough to go out in the canoe’. And with that he jumped into the bucket and settled himself down, ready to sit really still. The bottom of the big bucket was wet and sandy, just how he imagined a canoe to be, so he closed his eyes and held his breath. 

Oh no - Chorley stuck in the cement!

He’d nearly got to ten when suddenly, ‘Chorley, what are you doing?’ shouted Tristan. Chorley opened his eyes and tried to move, but he couldn’t, he was stuck. He’d been sitting in the bucket Tristan had used to mix the cement.

‘Oh no’ thought Chorley as he shook his ears and wiggled his tail. He was back where he’d started life, stuck in a bucket and it didn’t matter whether it was half full or half empty when it was full of cement that had set hard as stone.

Tristan ran over to the bucket and tried to pull Chorley out, but Chorley was stuck fast.

Alison dashed out of the kitchen and joined in, putting her arms around Tristan’s waist, giving him a hard tug while he tried to pull out Chorley, but Chorley was stuck fast.

The old cat, Black Jack heard the commotion and came over to join the chain of people trying to pull Chorley out of the bucket of cement. But Corley stayed stuck.

Boris and Alan, the two fat woodpigeons flew into the yard and grabbed onto Black Jack. Everyone pulled and pulled, but they couldn’t get any grip with their feet so Chorley stayed firmly stuck.

It was only when Stanley the stripy snail who lived in the flower pots joined in, that they started to make progress. Stanley used all his slime to make a sticky path which gave some grip for the rescue party.

Stanley comes to the rescue.

‘Right everyone, on three, pull really, really hard. One, two, three – PULL’. And so everyone pulled and with the extra grip provided by Stanley the stripy snail, they started to march backwards like a winning tug of war team. They felt Chorley start to loosen and then suddenly – POP! Like a giant champagne cork Chorley was pulled out of the bucket and flew through the air, landing on top of Alan, one of the fat woodpigeons.

‘Sorry Alan’, said Chorley. ‘Are you OK?’

‘Yes’, squeaked Alan, winded. He ruffled his feathers and made a hasty exit up into the tree.

Later that evening, they all decided to have a party to celebrate Chorley’s rescue. Tristan lit the BBQ he’d built that afternoon and cooked some sausages.

‘Well Chorley’, said Tristan, ‘I think we know now that you can sit still for a very long time. But if we put cement in the canoe, it’s very heavy and it will sink. Maybe we need to wait until you are a bit older before we go sailing on the Mersey river’.

Chorley was very disappointed and let out a big sigh. He was very unhappy about how the day had worked out. There was only one thing that would make things better and that was a sausage. So as soon as he thought his grown-up’s backs were turned he crept up and helped himself from the plate on the table. 

'Chorley - you are a naughty kitten', said Alison laughing. But Chorley wasn't listening.

‘Sausages will help me to grow up quickly’, he thought as he tucked in to the big, fat, juicy sausage and started to plan his next adventure.

Disco Dave and the Karaoke Kitten (4)

Before long, Chorley knew his way around the yards and alleyways like the back of his paw. It was his territory and he was The King. It was an important job keeping an eye on everything and Chorley took it all very seriously. 

He’d only had one rumpus and that was with cat called Black Jack who lived in the end house. But Black Jack was very old - almost as old as his long white whiskers. Black Jack had been ‘top cat’ for nearly a hundred years. He knew that it was time for someone new.  So instead, the old cat and the nearly grown up kitten became friends and Black Jack started to teach Chorley the ways of the world – like never to cross the big road at the front of the house.

Sometimes Chorley would sit at the front, hiding under the parked cars. But he always thought about Black Jack’s wise words and stayed away from the big road.

Bit by bit, Chorley started to work out just how the outside world fitted together – the houses and the roads and the shops. And he started to make friends with the people he met. Things were starting to make sense, apart from one thing that puzzled him greatly. The sky outside was often grey, except for one place which was halfway down the road. It was only one house, but above it the sun always seemed to shine. It was very odd – but just a bit too far away to explore at the moment. Chorley decided that he would wait until he was a fully grown up kitten before going to solve that mystery.

Black Jack belonged to the man with the round face who was always carrying eggs. His name was Ernie. 

One day Chorley was sitting underneath the cars at the front of the house, watching people’s feet, when Ernie walked past.

‘Harrow’ said Chorley.

‘Ahh – goslings, chickens, grandchildren, van, cockerels, pond’, said Ernie smiling, as he carried on past on his way to the pub with the big bowling green. Chorley didn’t have a clue what he was on about, but Ernie was friendly enough and sometimes fed him slices of ham, which made him one of Chorley’s favourite people.

Once a week, Chorley and Black Jack would sit on the roof of the shed with Boris and Alan, the fat wood pigeons. They would wait until the sun went down and the singing started. It came from the people in the pub and was a real cat’s chorus. The friends would sit there, swaying in time to the music and trying to join in. Chorley’s favourite was ‘It's got to be Puuurrrrrfect’!

One night Chorley’s curiosity got the better of him. ‘Let’s go and join in properly’ he said. But Black Jack was too old to jump over the wall and the fat wood pigeons were too scared. Chorley was so disappointed, he really wanted to go and join in properly.

‘Chorley Bucket, stop sulking’. Chorley jumped. It was his mother again in his head. Chorley knew what was coming – is your bucket half full or half empty? Things weren’t so bad, so Chorley decided to go solo, and jumped over the wall, crept across the bowling green and poked his nose through the open door into a big room with flashing disco lights.

The man his grown-ups called Disco Dave with his pale denim jeans and matching jacket and with his long grey hair and long white whiskers, was dancing with a microphone in the middle of the room. The room was full of people who were laughing and cheering. Chorley thought he could see Ernie and ‘the orange family’ in the crowd.

Dave pretended he was a rock star playing a giant air guitar. Suddenly he noticed Chorley peeping through the door.

‘Chorley, come in lad’ he said. Chorley was a very confident nearly grown up kitten and didn’t need asking twice and before you could say ‘pilchards and prunes’ he sped through the door and jumped up onto one of the speakers.

‘Would you like to have a go?’ asked Disco Dave. ‘I’ll hold the microphone if you like’. Chorley nodded his ears and the bell on his little red collar made a tinkling sound. ‘What would you like to sing?’ Disco Dave asked. Chorley was just about to say ‘Puuuurrrrfect’ when he had a better idea. ‘Harrow?’ he asked hopefully.

Black Jack, Boris and Alan, the fat wood pigeons had a real treat that warm summer evening as they sat on the shed and listened to Chorley, the Karaoke Kitten and Disco Dave performing together. 

‘Where have you been this evening Chorley?’ asked Alison when Chorley finally came back through the cat flap later that evening. Chorley tried to tell her, but he’d sung so much he’d lost his voice. So instead he purred and wound his way between Alison’s ankles until eventually she picked him up, turned him over onto his back and gave him a big cuddle, just how Chorley liked it. 

Chorley goes exploring (3)

One day, when Chorley was three months old, Alison picked him up in her arms, turned him over onto his back and gave him a big cuddle, just how Chorley liked it. He gave a contented purrdle. 

‘Chorley’ she said, ‘Today is a very important day. Today is the day that you are allowed to go outside’. Chorley knew what that meant and he could barely contain his excitement. He’d been waiting for this moment for ages. 

He was desperate to go and say ‘Harrow’ to all the interesting people he’d seen walking past the window. The ‘orange family’, the man with the round face who was always carrying eggs and the man his grown-ups called ‘Disco Dave’. These were just a few of the characters he’d seen while sitting on the windowsill. And then there was the beautiful lady with the dark hair. He thought he’d really like to say ‘Harrow’ to her. She had a nice smile.

A few weeks earlier Chorley had been very brave. His grown-ups had taken him to someone called ‘The Vet’. They’d put him back in the basket with the wire door and carried him through the streets. He pressed his nose right up to the wire, to see what he could see. Although he knew he lived in a city, what he saw looked more like a village with lots of shops and other interesting looking things. He made a special note to explore them all properly when he was allowed out by himself.

The Vet was very kind. She told Alison and Tristan that Chorley was growing into a fine looking cat. She gave him a big cuddle and before he could say ‘pilchards and prunes’ he felt a little prick. ‘Hmmm’ he thought ‘that wasn’t too bad at all’. The injection was to stop him from picking up germs – which is very important when you’ve got a lot of exploring ahead of you.

A few weeks later, Alison gave Chorley a bright red velvet collar with a little bell on it. Chorley thought he looked exceedingly handsome – with his shiny black fur and little white chin, he was very much the kitten about town. With that Alison opened up the back door and said ‘Off you go Chorley’. Chorley didn’t need telling twice and jumped right across the doormat.

But when Chorley stopped and looked around him - this wasn’t what he’d expected!

Although he was indeed outside, he was still trapped. He was in a yard with high walls and a back gate that was shut. He sat down to think. He could see glimpses of a bigger world. There were trees and there was blue sky, but to a little kitten the walls seemed huge. Surely they were too high to climb. Chorley’s didn’t want to stay in the yard, he wanted to explore as far as he could see and even further again. His heart felt like a stone. What was he going to do now?

‘Chorley Bucket!’ Chorley was startle! It was his mother – where had she come from? As he shook his ears trying to make sense of it all, the bell on his new collar made a tinkling sound. ‘Ahh’ he thought, she’s in my memory. So he closed his eyes and there she was. ‘Chorley Bucket – is your bucket half full or half empty?’ she asked. He knew she was right, things weren’t so bad really. He put his head on one side and thought about all useful skills he’d learned. Like climbing up the drawer handles in the kitchen to lick the roast chicken while his grown-ups weren’t looking. 

Chorley shook his ears again and with his little bell tinkling, got up and looked for his escape route. 

He explored every bit of the yard and finally discovered that he could squeeze himself into a little gap between the wooden shed in the corner of the yard and the wall. He wedged his back against the bricks and stuck his claws into the wood and hauled himself up, little by little, just like climbing a ladder.

It was very hard work, but Chorley was a very determined nearly grown up kitten. He wasn’t going to give up. He wanted to see what the rest of the world looked like. 

Before long Chorley hadn’t just climbed up to the top of the wall, he was sitting on the roof of the shed looking around, to see what he could see. He didn’t think about how he was going to get down, he would worry about that later!

This wasn’t what he’d expected either. When he looked to the left he could see three other yards, all joined together. When he looked to the right he could see one, two, three ......err......lots of other yards all in a row. But when he looked straight ahead, he could see the alley way that ran along the back of all the yards, then a big wall that looked about a hundred years old. Beyond that there were two leafy trees with silver bark. 

Beyond the trees was a square of the most perfect green he had ever seen with people rolling balls across it. Other people were crowding around the edges watching what was going on. Chorley thought he recognised the ‘orange family’, the man with the round face who carried the eggs and ‘Disco Dave’, all standing in the crowd watching the men rolling the balls. He looked for the beautiful lady with the dark hair, but she wasn’t there. 

Chorley jumped as they let out a big cheer. ‘I wonder what that’s all about?’ Chorley said out loud to himself. He was very puzzled.

‘Coooooo, Cooooooo – it’s called a bowling match’ said a voice. Chorley jumped again. It sounded like the tree was speaking to him. Chorley looked harder and in between the leaves he could just make out a fat pigeon. 

‘What did you say pigeon?’ asked Chorley. 

‘Actually, I’m a wood pigeon. There’s a big difference’. The wood pigeon sounded cross. ‘My name’s Boris and this is my friend Alan. We live in this tree and we watch the human’s rolling their balls all the time’. Another fat wood pigeon edged his way out from behind the leaves. ‘Coooo, coooooo, hello’ he nodded. ‘Alan’ he nodded again introducing himself. ‘We don’t understand why they do it either’ Boris continued. They all roll their balls and the one that gets the closest seems to win. They drink lots of brown water which makes them tell jokes and fall over – and then they come back the next day and do it all over again’. ‘And sometimes they sing too’ added Alan nervously.

Chorley decided to introduce himself. ‘My name is Chorley and I’m a nearly grown up kitten’.

‘Well Chorley, it’s very nice to meet you, why don’t you jump over and join us. You’ll be able to see the ball rolling game much better. Jump over meant jumping over the alley way from the top of the shed to the top of the hundred year old wall and into the trees with the silver bark beyond. It was a massive leap, even for a nearly grown up kitten. But Chorley wasn’t scared of anything. He’d been born in a bucket! So he looked straight ahead and focused on the top of the wall where he wanted to land.

Chorley launched himself from the top the shed across the alley way. But although he was nearly grown up, he was still a kitten and the alley way was very wide. He stuck out his claws, closed his eyes and hoped for the best. If it wasn’t for his strong claws, Chorley would certainly have missed the wall and landed in a heap on the floor. But he dug them into the wall and pulled himself up until his nose poked over the top.

‘Nearly there’ cooo-ed Boris encouragingly and with one final heave, Chorley was up on the wall. From there it was just a small jump into the tree. Chorley settled himself down to watch the ball rolling on the big piece of green, with his two new friends.

Suddenly, the air was full of screeching as five black and white birds with pointy beaks and a big black crow came flying towards the tree. ‘It’s the magpies! We’re off’ shouted Boris as he and Alan made a hasty exit. Chorley was left all alone to face the angry birds who, landed in the branches and quickly surrounded him.

‘What are you doing in our tree?’ screamed the big black crow who was clearly the leader of the gang. ‘Harrow’ Chorley started to say ‘my name is Chorley Bucket and .....’ ‘I don’t care what your name is’ said the crow, ‘you’re in our tree!’ 

Chorley tried to start again. He opened his mouth to say ‘Harrow’ but nothing came out. The magpies jumped around him on the branches, screaming at him ‘You’re in our tree, you’re in our tree’. Chorley panicked. He was sitting a long way up in a tree and he didn’t know how to get down.

Chorley tried to say ‘Sorry’, and ‘Leave me alone’, but again the words just wouldn’t come out.

Alison was upstairs in the house when she heard the commotion. ‘What on earth is that?’ she thought to herself. She went over to the window and was amazed to see Chorley sitting up in the tree being mobbed by magpies and a mean looking crow. She grabbed an old broom and rushed down into the yard. ‘Shooo, Shoooooo!’ she shouted and waved her broom at the birds who took to the skies screeching.

Alison called for Tristan who got a ladder and climbed up into the tree to rescue Chorley.

Chorley thought he’d had enough excitement for one day, so he didn’t complain when his grown-ups took him back inside. He knew that it wouldn’t be forever and so he settled down on Alison’s lap for a sleep – he needed all his energy for tomorrow and his next big adventure.